If the way to learn to be disciplined is to use the the 3 W rule:
I want… I will… I won’t…
then the next part of discipline is to determine what our personal rules are, otherwise known as our personal “I rules”. These ‘I rules’ are about rules that we have for ourselves. It is what we believe is important for our life. They are personal and should not be set by others or their wishes.
I may have a rule that says that I will always work hard when learning a new skill. Others may have a rule that says “I will make everything I do fun” or “I will be kind no matter what others say or do.” All adults have these rules, even if they have never verbalized them for themselves or others. It is the way we personally approach everything in life, the way we do things.
Our children will have or create their own rules, influenced by those around them. Don’t we as their parent want to be that influence? As a parent I would not like to leave them to make up their rules based on what they see in the media or what their friends or neighbors are doing.
All of these factors will influence them however. Therefore we must be aware and careful about who and what we surround ourselves and them with, both in media, friends, coaches and teachers. If we as a family have a mission, if we have our family core values and we are able to say, “In our family we do this or that in this way….” our children will understand the expectation we have set up, not just for them – but for ourselves – for our family.
This is Discipline and yes this is Self Discipline too.