Every individual feels anger in their body and mind in different ways. Some may feel it as a tenseness in a certain body part like their fists, face, chest, or in their whole body. All of us when we are feeling angry do not think the same way that we would if we were calm, so again the question comes up around how to deal with our anger.
While there may be times that taking a breath works for us or counting slows us down enough to get our thoughts in order, for many of us doing something physical with our bodies is our way of dealing with anger. Some of our options may be working out, going for a brisk walk or run, taking part in a sport that is physical. Some suggest that hitting or kicking a bag like in the martial arts is a good idea.
I have to agree that physically working hard is a great idea – the idea of hitting a pillow as some kids are instructed to do, is not a great idea unless we have control of our thoughts. Imagine someone being angry with another person and they are hitting the pillow, bag, or other object pretending that they are getting their anger out on that person.
In effect they are practicing hitting the person they are angry with until the anger is gone. Doing this is not a good idea, for it may be a pillow today, a wall or door tomorrow and unfortunately a person at a later date. There are so many other physical options that are more effective without the idea of using our brute force on others…pushup, sit-ups, calisthenics, yoga, meditation, running, rowing, etc..
Learning to release the anger by being aware of where we are feeling it, and then taking a breath and releasing into a relaxed state may work for many individuals with practice.