When your child comes home from school everyday with a story about being picked on by someone on the bus, in the classroom, on the playground it is very upsetting. Many times we see parents who have raised these very mild mannered, sweet children who have no desire or what seems to no ability to mean to others and would rather just let these things go. As a parent though we know that they must learn to stand up for themselves.
In fact as parents, we may become frustrated with our child for being unwilling to do just that. We may tell our child do what you need to do to stand up to them, I will not be upset with you no matter what. In effect we are saying if you need to hit them I am giving you permission to do so – because we want to see them make a stand.
Please consider the following though in regard to our mild mannered, sweet child. If they are coming home to you and are willing to speak to you about what is going on at school and tell you how they feel about it – you are a very fortunate parent. The problem is that if the child begins to feel your frustration with his/her unwillingness or inability to stand up for themselves, they may become unwilling to share these experiences with you, not wanting to disappoint you in any way.
What is a parent to do?
The key to this is not losing the communication with your child. Losing their trust and communication leads to very serious problems and issues. Let them see you as an ally, while allowing them to make their own choices and teaching them how to implement their choice.