How we think:  When we have a situation come up that is daunting, how many of us get to feeling that “we cannot do this”, or “oh this is a terrible situation”, or “this is too hard for me to do”.  When we start thinking like that we can very easily come up with all sorts of reasons why we cannot do the task.  That is how our brain works.  It looks through all of its files for proof for what we are thinking or feeling. 

Once we find one or more reasons that this task cannot be done by me, our body and mind shuts down and we make a decision not to do it or a decision not to even try.  We have convinced ourselves of these ‘facts’. 

The example I use with the students is riding a bicycle.

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All of us has had someone tell us that we need to focus.  It may have even been ourselves that we had a little self talk “Focus, Focus, Focus”.  So what is focus other than looking and listening with intensity.  This is what we teach our young children and for all of us it is really blocking out all of the distractions that keep us from focusing.

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The concept that we are focusing on this month is “Focus”.  Interesting is the fact that many of us focus on the things that we fear or the things that we do not want to happen.  I will give you an example that is very easy to relate to.  Have you ever driven down the road and had something on the side of the road grab your attention.

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As I speak to children about different scenarios that they could see themselves in I continually hear the same one word answers, good, bad, mad.  These are the labels that many children know and understand.  So when asked about different situations they will use these as their answers many times.  Yet we know that anger does not exist in a vacuum.  There is always another emotion at work when there is an outburst.  We recognize that in ourselves too.

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As I discussed sportsmanship with our classes one thing came up that I found very interesting.  Sportsmanship is very much like empathy.  When we look at what we do through the eyes of others, when we put ourselves in their shoes we know immediately if what we are doing demonstrates sportsmanship. 

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We have all seen the child or the adult that sees others as the cause of their anger.  Someone, or something provokes them, and their anger is the "reasonable response", from their point of view.  Its not their fault if they loss their temper because...  This is a way of sidestepping the responsibility for their feelings and reactions and the damage that they may cause. 

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In any sport that we play or compete in there are rules that we follow so that everyone has the same opportunities and winning is based on who does better on the task at hand.  Following those rules is good sportsmanship.  At the same time keeping things safe in a competition is important too.  So some sports have a 'no pushing' rule, or they may tell you how many individuals can be on the floor.  This keeps things safe.  Following rules like taking turns keeps things fair. 

There are other kinds of rules though that are not written down but are still important to a game being fun for all the participants.

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